The Blessing of Losing a Job, Part 2

An Example of Excess in My Home--But She Sure is Cute!

I wrote last time about how my husband's job loss ended up being a blessing to our family.  We were refined in the process and surer of God.  Our family was stronger and tighter.  All great things...

But God has used a few books, recently, to further change me and "wreck" my comfortable life.  It's all good but I think it makes me even "weirder" and less mainstream than I was before.  So that is interesting:)  I guess I am just getting more comfortable not being a "normal" American.

Here are the books--one of them could even be considered "dangerous" to read.  They all required action on my part after I read them...so read at your own risk!

    One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp

This book changed my perspective on life. I love the way she describes everything around us as God expressing His love for us--if we would only pay attention!  Children's kisses, sunsets, mountains, steaming soup, a husband's laugh--all blessings from God to be counted and enjoyed.  This book I read awhile ago and the lessons apply to every season and help in every situation.  We are unbelievably blessed by God, every day!  I want to live like it!

Here is a link to Ann discussing her journey that will bless.


                                                   

7; An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker

This one really wrecked me.  It showed me, in a new and painful way, the excess in my life and how that kept me from seeing and responding to the needs of others.  I had put off reading it because it sounded heavy when other people talked about it, but it was actually a very FUNNY read.  The author makes it as enjoyable as possible to acknowledge the areas of one's own life that are out of balance. 

I feel like this book freed me to be content with, and grateful for, what I have--and that is a beautiful, life altering thing!  It also stoked the fire to give in a new way and to re prioritize my life.  I am excited by what this book did to my heart.  It made me a better person.  It revealed some ugly attitudes and habits in my life.  I really want excess out of my house and heart. God really used this book to change my life!  I so desire to make sure this change sticks, though, and is not just a phase.  I am asking God for a permanent heart change.

Here is a recent interview with the author and what changes have stuck in her house since she wrote the book.  She is so real and funny--and is always entertaining!

My college suite mate, Robin Ann, is blogging right now as she goes through seven, 40 day fasts focused on the areas of excess discussed in this book.  I think you will be inspired as you read what God is teaching her as she looks to Him to shape her life.

             
Nehemiah; A Heart that can Break by Kelly Minter

This is a Bible study on the book of Nehemiah that I am currently doing.  What I took away from the study right away is that though I care about the poor, I don't know the poor.  I don't have friends that are poor.  I don't know the name of one poor person living in my county.  Did you know that if you make $50,000 a year you are in the top 1% of the world's population?  If you are reading this you are most certainly rich by the world's standards.  If you have a bed, an extra change of clothes, and some food in a cupboard or fridge you are abundantly blessed.

God is doing something in my heart that has me focused, in a new way, on children living in poverty.  I cry when I think about what I might do (my passion is so strong) but I realize that unless I live differently and sacrifice I won't ever be able to do what God is calling me to do.  I want my heart to stay soft and my eyes to look to Him to guide me as I seek to do His will and live out what He created me to do and be.

So now I add reluctant consumer to my growing list of what separates me from mainstream America.  If I am to give in the way that God is calling me to, I have to live my life and use my resources differently than I have in the past.  I still have a  lot to process to determine what this will look like in my life long term.

But I wanted to write a post about these books because I thought they might be of interest to some of you.  Maybe you've felt nudging toward a different way than the world's way.  If so, I highly recommend all three of these books!  I am grateful to have had the opportunity to read them and evaluate my life and attitudes from a different and better perspective.  Growing is good...

Has a book recently changed your perspective or caused you to grow in a new way?  I want to hear about it!  Please share with me!

The Blessing of Losing a Job

I have always been cheap.  My brothers and I were raised that way by my parents, and they by theirs.   In my very frugal family, doing without or finding a deal is celebrated and admired.  I don't enjoy something as much if I pay full price for it.  My ultimate vacation is a beautiful, upscale hotel getaway at 70% off--usually cheaper than a Motel 6 room.  I seriously enjoy myself more when a deal has been found.

So when people talked about materialism and excess in American culture, I never really felt the need to make any personal changes.  Because I'm frugal, cheap, and always looking for a bargain.  I never spend a lot of money on a pair of shoes or a dress.  I rarely pay retail.  My husband and I haven't traveled on our own dime anywhere special since our honeymoon.  We are simple people.

Well, that is what I told myself.  And I don't believe it anymore.  In fact, I am embarrassed at the excess I was living with without regard to its effects on my family, my faith, and my personal growth.  Here is what changed my perspective...

In early 2011, my husband had a great, well paying job and we had a brand new house that was more than enough for our little family of four.  We painted the walls (no VOC paint, of course), ripped out the carpet and put down hardwood (the former owners had cats and we don't like carpet due to toxins), and purchased a couch for our empty family room.  I actually felt "proud" of myself for not getting carried away with the decorating or remodeling.  Even so, I didn't like the tile in the downstairs area, the kitchen cabinets, or the "older model" stove and oven.  We had new appliances in our old home and I wanted new ones here too.  I began researching the costs of new appliances...

Then my husband lost his job, completely out of the blue, and all of a sudden I was wondering if we were going to be able to keep our home.  Now I wasn't thinking for a second about getting new appliances to replace working models.  I realized I didn't need anything.  I looked around my house and felt such gratitude and amazement about how blessed I was.  I knew God would provide for us, without a doubt, but didn't know what that would look like for our family.  People all around us in our neighborhood were losing their homes.  I began to think about the possibility of living with my parents...it wouldn't be so bad.  My kids would love it...  Such a perspective change one lost job caused in me.

Tim and I stopped spending any money unless it was absolutely necessary.  Only food, gas, mortgage and utilities.  No more weekend outings, no clothes, no Target runs, etc.  And we realized that there was a deep peace knowing God was fully in control and would provide for us--and we also had the satisfaction that we were being good stewards of what we did have.  I could tell you some amazing stories of God's provision during that time--we actually received as much money with Tim not working (from random sources) as we did when he was working.  God also did an unbelievable work in my husband's life that is still blessing our family and friends today!  My kids became much more grateful about everything and stopped having the attitude of entitlement they were developing before.  I look back on our time of unemployment as one of the biggest blessings of our time as a family because of all that it gave us in character and relational growth.   God works in our lives in ways we can't predict or understand.  We trust Him in a new way now.  All of that is wonderful!

I'm sharing this here because simplicity is one of the "greenest" philosophies around.  One saves energy, resources, money, and time when life is simpler.

So what is different now?  What changes have been lasting?  What did we learn from our time of unemployment?  Here is what stuck:

1.  I now stay out of the stores.  I actually feel weird when I go to the mall now.  Kind of overwhelmed by all the lights, choices, and extravagance.  If I don't go to the mall, Costco, or to Target, I'm not tempted to spend money or find new things I "need".  I've probably missed out on a ton of new merchandise that has been invented since my husband lost his job but I'm blissfully unaware.  I send my husband to Costco with my short list--he buys only what is on it and leaves--he is so much more disciplined than I am.  I buy most everything else we need on Amazon or iherb.com.  The prices are usually best and I am not tempted to look around and end up with $100 worth of extra things I wasn't planning on buying.

2.  We LOVE hand me downs for the kids.  I have a wonderful friend (THANK YOU, KRISTEN!) who sends her sons' hand me downs to us.  My wonderful SIL (THANK YOU, KATERI) gives us my niece's clothes.  My kids also attend a private school which does a used uniform sale at the end of the year.  The items are only $5 each!  So I don't really need to buy anything for the kids except shoes, socks, and underwear and that is a HUGE blessing.  Another "green" blessing is used clothes have out gassed and been washed enough that they contain fewer toxins!
Used clothes also save resources, land fill space, and all the chemicals used to create clothing.

3.  We only go out to eat after church.  We used to do activities on the weekends that often included a meal out at a sit down, family restaurant.  Three of those a month really raised the credit card bill each month.  Now we go out to a "cheaper" restaurant like In N Out or Chipotle after church and the kids know we won't go out any other time so they don't ask.  The occasional family get together out (my dad just treated the family to a special restaurant for my brother's birthday) is cause for lots of excitement and celebration.  We appreciate these meals out in a new way.

4.  I go to the grocery store once a week.  We have a Sunday routine that works really well for us.  We attend the early service at church, eat "lunch" out at 11:00, and then go grocery shopping on the way home.  It saves gas and time because we live far from stores and I save money because when I shop more than once a week I spend more money on impulse buys.  Tim also takes the kids to the park or otherwise occupies them while I shop because whenever I shop with kids (anywhere) I end up spending more money due to their suggestions and desires.

5.  We spend our weekend doing simple activities.  We enjoy hiking, biking, picnics, geocaching, and other free activities as a family.  We have a pool and entertain friends several times a week during the summer.  Staying home saves money!  The highlight for our kids this summer was a weekly sleepover with their cousins and our Friday "Happy Hour" tradition--I make a homemade GF pizza and a huge bowl of guacamole with chips, Tim makes fun drinks (Zevia for the kids), and we play games.  I've realized we are all recharged and happier when we spend time enjoying each other at home. 

6.  Clothes and shoe shopping on a "as needed" basis for adults.  I used to purchase clothes for summer, fall and winter when the new season arrived.  Now I organize my closet and shop there where there is plenty to choose from and it all fits!  I amazes me how long Tim and I can go without needing to buy anything.

7.  We look for new things we can make from scratch to save money.  I make my own, toxin free cleaners and deodorant.  We drink homemade kombucha and I am trying to find a good homemade almond milk recipe my kids will drink.  I am making fermented foods instead of buying probiotics (which are VERY important but VERY expensive for quality ones).  Instead of buying lunch box items, I make healthy muffins, cookies, and applesauce.  Tim is perfecting his garden in the backyard and is now working on sprouting seeds and investigating
composting.  My next project will be making GF bread as the Udi's at $5 a loaf is killing the frugal person that I am:)

8.  My social outings with friends no longer revolve around eating out and shopping.  I have so many dear friends who I share my life with now.  I used to get together with them for dinner or lunch and maybe a day of shopping.  Now we walk and talk!  We have a beautiful wildlife preserve behind my house that is an awesome walk/hike complete with deer sightings.  We also have safe walking paths in our surrounding communities.  I have loved my walking "therapy sessions" with friends.  We get caught up on life and share our hearts, get a great work out, and there are no distractions.  And it's free!

9.  Staycations.  We celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary during our time of unemployment.  We had planned to celebrate by going to Hawaii and renewing our vows where we honeymooned.  Instead, we had the kids go to Grandma and Grandpa's (thanks Sheila and Steve:), bought some special treats and food at Trader Joe's, and stayed home together.  We cooked, laid out by the pool, and really enjoyed each other.  I felt so blessed to be with my favorite person on the planet, uninterrupted, for a few days.  It was wonderful and we saved a lot of money compared with our initial plan.


With the above changes I feel more grateful and thankful as I go about my life.  I am also calmer and happier.  I don't feel deprived or as if I am going without.  I would have never guessed a job loss would result in so many blessings for our family!

I'd love to hear what you are doing to save money, live simply, and cultivate a grateful heart at your house!  I am always looking for new ideas and would love to learn from and be inspired by your unique life!!! 


On a side note...I just noticed I didn't post at all in September.  We have had lots of big changes here and I was just keeping up with the necessities.  I hope to get to write more in October!  (Thanks Trudy and Mary for your recent encouragement!)  Next time I'm going to share about what is reorganizing the way I view my life and my future.  It is the second chapter of change in our lives after the job loss.